Saving Money

After posting my thoughts on Working From Home I went over to the blog Walk Slowly Live Wildly and was pleasantly surprised to find that Sara had remetnly written about "The Alternative." In this inspirational post she writes:

Everyone longs to be free. Free from the burden of a mortgage. Free from the constraints of a nine to five job. Free from the pressure to conform. I see that longing in people’s eyes and hear it in their words over and over again…and yet, comfort usually wins out. It’s comfortable to be like everyone else. It’s easier to give in to the pressure to live the “American Dream” because everyone else is doing it too. Everyone else is at the mall. Everyone else is buying a house and cars they can’t afford. Everyone is charging it on their most recent 0% interest rate credit card. But I don’t want to be like everyone else. I want to live in my own little alternative dream world.

Let me tell you, this woman is a soul sister of mine! We have so many similarities. I don't want to be like everyone else either. As a matter-of-fact, I tend to believe that anything that mainstream America does, I should do the opposite. I flee from herd mentality.

I stated in my Working From Home post that the best advice I could offer to any mom wanting to stay home and raise her children full-time, is in reference to SAVING money, not earning it.

If you want to make it so that you need to earn less money, you need to reduce your expenses. You need to save yourself from having to earn money for things that you don't really need or that you can make yourself.

Here's some random thoughts:

Learn to cut your children's hair yourself. This is easy for girls. For one thing, girls can wear long hair. I prefer this as it is more feminine anyway. As for boys, start practicing when they are young (so that they won't know the difference if you mess up!) or start in the summer when it's hot and you can always give them a buzz job if it doesn't turn out right. (One of these days when I get another digital camera I'll make a video montage and share what my husband and I have learned, and I'll show what a good job can done without payinga barber ten bucks per child every two weeks.) If you want to learn more about cutting your children's hair check this site out, it seems like a great deal!

A friend of mine once remarked that she used to never be able to live without have a pedicure. (Then she moved out to the country and that changed.) I laughed and thought of all the things that typical American women can't live without that I don't care for and how that has saved my husband alot of money!

#1 on this list is childbirth. Spending years studying childbirth has saved us alot of money. Not only that, due to all the research and pondering I have done I am working on a childbirth book that I hope to publish someday.

Breastfeeding sure has saved money. Not only because it means that we are feeding our baby for free, but also because our children and I are healthier than we would likely be if we bottle-fed. That means less doctor visits and less medicine, both holistic and pharmaceutical.

Thrift shopping and second-hand clothing. Of course I frequent thrift shops about once a week or every other week. There are so many nice clothes that can be found. That is the clincher: you have to invest time when thrift shopping in order to find the great deals. You can find name brand, almost new and even new clothes if you look carefully. In addition to this, I have no trepidation about telling any of the mothers at church who spend big bucks on their kids' wardrobes that I accept use clothing. Some people are afraid they'll offend you if they offer, so it's wise to point out that second-hand isn't tabboo for you.

If you want to stay home with your kids you'll pretty much have to accept sacrifice and you 'll have to come to terms with the notion that you've chosen an alternative. What I am trying to say is that you'll have to accept your social status when you decide that raising your children is more important than living the American dream.

This may mean living with only one car. Not dining out frequently (if ever!) Not buying decorating magazines, or going to the beauty parlor every month. This may mean you don't attend pampered chef parties unless you are the hostess. This can mean alot of things. But what it means for me is that I have had to have a change of heart. Sometimes we want things and can't have them and this is upsetting. I have found that with prayer and scripture study I have lost the desire for many materialistic things and have peace about our status.

Learning to accept yourself as God made you is important. Do we really need bottles of hair spray, nail polish, mousse, make-up, jewelry, and fancy clothes in order to feel good about ourselves?

First and foremost we must recognize that this is Satan at work. The adversary loves to see women so concerned about their appearance that they forgo breastfeeding, and even mothering.

I have a long-time friend who used to be a model and who is in her forties, unmarried and has had no children. She and I became friends as teenagers, when I was alot more like her. We have stayed aqcuainted over the years and I call her every now and then to see how she is doing and update her on our family. When I told her I'd just had my seventh child she cracked-up and made a crude jokes about my being stretched out vaginally and how she's still as "tight" as a woman half her age. I can laugh with her and not be offended because I know she comes from a totally different paradigm, one that I am grateful that I don't ascribe to anymore.

I've personally known women who didn't breastfeed because they didn't want to have the shape of their breasts altered. I think that this is rooted in insecurity. This teaches me that we need to get our security from God, who created us, and also that we need to raise our daughters to have a strong self-esteem and this is all the more reason to do whatever it takes so that our daughters and sons are homeschooled. (Read my thoughts on about the benefits of homeschooling our daughters.) This whole insecurity about our bodies also signifies to me how destructive media is to our self-esteem.

Moreover, it signifies how much our boys need to be protected from the media also, so that they can appreciate what a woman's body is supposed to look like. I have heard of men who aren't supportive of breastfeeding because they didn't want their wife's breasts to sag. Not all men are as supportive as my husband who has told me many times that my body changes don't repel him, rather they endear me to him all the more because I am the mother of his children whom have come through me.

It reminds me of when my grandmother was in her last days. I had to help her get dressed one day and I had the honor of seeing her body. I noticed her aged body, with its sags and faint, yet evident stretch marks that were more than half a century old. I was so immensely touched with the realization that I and all of my extended and immediate family had come from this woman. How sacred.

In general, the following verses are very helpful to the woman who wants to live an "alternative" lifestyle.

1Tim. 2:8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

1Pet. 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

Read this commentary about adornments. Personally I have come to see how important this Book of Mormon verse is:

Why do ye adorn yourselves with that which hath no life, and yet suffer the hungry, and the needy, and the naked, and the sick and the afflicted to pass by you, and notice them not? Mormom 8:39

Our children are needy and we need to do all we can to place our priorities so that they align with those needs and not the undue adorning of ourselves and our homes with things that have no life. Yes, this can be very trying. We must remember:

Mosiah 4: 16 succor those that stand in need of your succor.

How do we do accomplish this? By relying on God to succor us.

Visit my other blog, Susans Homespun Life for more info on frugal living, homeschooling and self-reliance.